As many other adoptive parents, I was once deeply convinced, and I believed from from the bottom of my heart, that the institution of adoption is a proof for the good in people, and an act of humanity. I was also convinced that it would be helpful not only for the child himself, but for his entire community.
What I have learned throughout the roughly five years I was involved in an adoption process and the building of an adoptive family, is, that apart from all these whishes, there is a reality hard to bear:
For some, adoption is a business they make a living of. Not a frugal one, that’s for sure.
For some, adoption is a natural right of infertile adults, consequence of an entitlement to be a parent, no matter what.
For some, adoption created circumstances in their lives that are beyond imagination.
For some, adoption is a fact of life they will have to deal with throughout their lives. They see themselves as survivers.
For some, adoption simply hurts.
For some, adoption is something the Lord has told them to pursue, not only to support orphans, but to „spread the Word.“
For some, ethics in adoption is a term to ridicule – mentioning it means interfering with the Lord’s plan for each child and with the personal dedication the PAP has.
For some, ethics in adoption is a contradiction in terms; they believe there are no „good guys“ in adoption.
For some, adoption means to save lives.
For some, adoption means to create a family with life long relationships between the two families of an adoptee.
For some, adoption means to take over responsibility within their childrens’ country of heritage.
All of these very different concepts of adoption are something that one learns to see as a given variety of views.
There is one reality in the concept of adoption I have been finding hard to accept as a reality. It is that of trafficking into adoption.
The wish to deny the facts
I liked this blog post (as always, read the whole thing!) about adoptive parents' persistent denials about trafficking in adoption from a German adoptive parent's blog, Eth.i.A: