10 Reasons to Revoke My Natural Parent Card

Welcome to the "I'm a Natural Parent - BUT..." Carnival
This post was written for inclusion in the carnival hosted by The Artful Mama and Natural Parents Network. During this carnival our participants have focused on the many different forms and shapes Natural Parenting can take in our community.
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I'm a natural parent. At least, that's what I call myself and that's what I write about. I even write for this spiffy cool web site call "The Natural Parents Network." It's about (get this!) natural parenting. It's pretty obvious that all the volunteers are pretty crunchy and talk about things like breastfeeding, granola, composting, and cloth diapering. But none of us are the perfect natural parent.

I know, I know. GASP! SHOCK! HORROR!

We all have our un-crunchy side, our "big, bad conventional" way of doing things that may shock you. Sit down, get your smelling salts and get ready for a confessional.

Forgive me, natural parent community, for I have some un-crunchy things that I do:

1. I use tampons. Yes, that's right, bleached, flush -able tampons. I use a bajillion cloth products around the house but I haven't given up my tampons. I like the idea of a diva or a keeper but I just can't bring myself to spend 30 dollars on something I might not like. I mean, what do you do with it if it doesn't work for you? "Yes, I used it once but I would like to return it since it doesn't work"? It's not like it's a shirt or something they could resell.

2. I refuse to use a reusable toilet bowl wand OR stick my hand, with a rag attached, into the potty to clean it. I deal with enough sh!t that I would rather use my Clorox wands and put that nasty thing right into the trash. Forgive me, environment, but please remember the years of cloth diapering.

3. Not all of our food is organic. Not even close. AND we like McDonald's. Not as much as Chik-Fil-A but I do like their iced tea and french fries....

4. The little boys are in disposables at night and PuddinPie is in them all the time. If I weren't so cheap, I think we would be done with cloth by now because I am tired of washing diapers. I like cloth and I normally don't mind it, but after nearly eight years, I am feeling done! (Don't worry, my guilty conscience won't let me give up even our 1/4 of the time cloth diapering.)

and sometimes they have
 candy for breakfast!
5. My kids go to the Evil, Soul Sucking Public School and THEY LIKE IT.

6. I have my children in the hospital. Yes, they were all natural, drug free births but they were still in the hospital. I even stay the whole time for a mini vacation with my baby. And, no, I have never eaten, dyhdrated or made a smoothie out of my placenta. I firmly believe in the benefits of it and I do believe it can help off-set PPD... but my husband would faint and then divorce me if I even brought it up!

7. We vaccinate. My children are on a delayed and selective schedule for religious and health reasons (one child has had vaccine reactions) but if it weren't for those reasons, we would probably do everything on the traditional schedule because, well, we would.

8. I used formula with my third child when he weaned because I was pregnant. I even needed to use the evil Nestle brand because it was the only kind he could tolerate. My fourth child got formula as a newborn and I really believed it saved his life.

9. I have a temper. Granted, I am so much better than I used to be and people can even describe me as mild mannered sometimes but, yeah, I've been known to yell. Hey, I only do it when provoked AND I'm working on it!

10. My kids watch TV and like characters. We have Cars, princesses, cars, more cars, trains with faces and more trains...oh, and American Girl dolls! floating around this house... and I don't mind one whit!


there is nothing organic about this food.
 Whew! I feel better now. Now you know, even with my (1/4 of the time) cloth diapering, my homemade cleaners, eco-friendly soap for clothes, homeopatic remedies and extended breastfeeding, I am far from the perfect natural parent. But you know what? Parenting isn't about being the perfect parent... it's about being the perfect parent for your child. And sometimes, what they need is a mom who will surprise them with a picnic McDonald's lunch at the playground on the perfect fall day. Or a mom who buys the laundry soap on-line instead of making it so she can watch Cars2 (again) with them and eating popcorn. Parenting, even natural parenting, isn't about being perfect but, rather, "darn near perfect" moments and memories.

(The yelling thing though? Yeah, I'm working on that!)

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I'm a Natural Parent — But … Blog CarnivalThis carnival was created by The Artful Mama and Natural Parents Network. We recognize that "natural parenting" means different things to different families, and we are dedicated to providing a safe place for all families, regardless of where they are in their parenting journeys.
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