Well we are now at the weekend before our big appointment on June 18th. My emotions are going crazy. I know what every it is going to be will be God's will, but I pray that her little heart is not broken. As I try and make it through the weekend K-Love is a huge help, but there is one song that stands out to me. I have heard this song a million times but I have never really paid attention to what it was saying. This song was talking to me! It is a song by Matt Hammitt called "All of me" that he wrote for his son Bowen, who was born on September 9, 2010. Bowen was born with a serious and rare congenital heart defect called Hypoplastic Left Heart Syndrome (HLHS), in which the left side of the heart is severely underdeveloped. They have a blog you can check out called Bowensheart.com. I posted a link to the song and it was exactly how I felt.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ARIe3PUgu84

Afraid to love, something that could break, 
Could I move on, if you were torn away?
I'm so close to what I can't control
I can't give you half my heart, and pray it make you whole

You're gunna have all of me, you're gunna have all of me,
Cuz you're worth every fallen tear, you're worth facing any fear
You're gonna know all my love, even if it's not enough
Enough to mend our broken hearts, giving you all of me is where I'll start.

I won't let sadness steal you from my arms
I won't let pain keep you from my heart
Trade the fear of all that I could lose, for every moment I share with you

You're gunna have all of me, you're gonna have all of me,
Cuz you're worth every fallen tear, you're worth facing any fear
You're gonna know all my love, even if it's not enough
Enough to mend our broken hearts, giving you all of mess where I'll start.

Heaven broke into this moment, it's too wonderful to speak
You're worth all of me, you're worth all of me
So let me recklessly love you, even if I  bleed
You're worth all of me, you're worth all of me

You're gunna have all of me, you're gunna have all of me,
Cuz you're worth every fallen tear, you're worth facing any fear
You're gunna know all my love, even if it's not enough
Enough to mend our broken hearts, giving you all of me is where I'll start.


This song made me cry like a baby over and over and over again. I remember calling Forrest and just busting out crying and him reassuring me that no matter what we will get through this and if something is wrong with her heart we will make sure no matter what that she has the BEST doctors taking care of her. People tell us all the time that God picked the perfect parents for Mary Martin because if anyone can go through this it's us. Just when you think you are strong God reminds us just how weak we are. We are nothing without him! God did not choose us because we were strong people he chose us because we were weak but trusted in him! No matter what you are going through in life always remember that God is in control! Forrest is so much stronger than I am and sometimes I feel like he is walking along side God, but I'm having to be carried by God. This is a new journey for both me and him and our 2 boys. No one is guaranteed tomorrow and we know that at any given moment God could call our sweet Mary Martin home to be with him. Please remember us in your prayers as we go through this journey.