Happy 1 year Anniversary to Daddy and Mommy!

On July 9, 2011 Forrest and I said "I do" not knowing what the future would hold for us. On July 9, 2012 we all woke up and had a big family day planned. We had decided to take the family to the City Museum in St. Louis. Before we left I gave Forrest his anniversary card that I had snuck around and brought with us. I had also gotten him a book called "God always has a plan B." This book had caught my eye and it just seemed like the perfect gift for me to give my husband on our anniversary. We all started getting ready, and unfortunately I wasn't feeling good. Getting on up there in age you start to have stuff that "breaks down." I have had off and on problems for years with my back, and wouldn't you know it when we are on vacation, and while I'm pregnant my back would start acting up. All I could take was Tylenol, so I took 2 and we headed out to have some fun. If you have children and every get the chance to visit St. Louis I highly recommend that you visit the City Museum.......it was AMAZING!!!! It was like the Children's Museum in Memphis times a million. There were slides, and tunnels, and caves, and ladders everywhere. 

Forrest was brave and decided to climb in the tunnels, go underground, and slide down the slides with the boys. I felt bad for holding Mary Martin back, but mommy was just not feeling good. We sat and watched and tried to keep up with where everyone was at. After about 1 1/2 hours (which still was not long enough) we decided to leave so I could go back to the room and lay down. We get back to the room and we all just rest for a bit. After about 30 minutes I just could not take it anymore. I wasn't sure what all I could take for my back with being pregnant and didn't want to guess at anything so we all loaded up and headed to the Barnes-Jewish hospital in St. Louis. It's funny because the night before me and the boys were wore out and were going to go to bed early. Forrest said he was going out for a minute to look for a Walgreens. I have no idea what time he got back in because we were all passed out! But I remember waking up and him telling me that there was not a Walgreens on every corner in downtown St. Louis, but he did find a huge hospital. We kind of laughed it off not ever in a million years thinking that we would be going to that very hospital later on. Forrest says thinking back now he believes it was God leading him to that hospital so we would know where to go later on and not have to search and search for a place. Everything happens for a reason!! We get to the Adult Emergency room and Forrest drops me off at the door so I can go on in while he parks the car. I walk in and right off the bat I was a little caught off guard by having to go through security, but I make it through and proceed to the check in desk. The guy at the desk asked me if I needed to be seen and I explained to him that we were here from out of town, I was 22 weeks pregnant, and my back was hurting. He wrote down a little information and said he was going to call up to the 5th floor which was the maternity ER for them to come to get me. I had a seat and waited for Forrest and the boys to come in. Right after they came in a nurse came and got me and took me on a long wheelchair ride around and around until we made it upstairs. By this point I was starting to get a little concerned. We got to the maternity area and they took me strait to a room, put me in a gown and said someone would call me to get all of my insurance information. Forrest was having to go back and forth from my room to the waiting room because they would not let the boys come back. After I was officially checked in the nurse came in with one of those little machines to listen to the babies heart beat. She was having a hard time finding it. I wasn't to worried because a nurse at Ruch Clinic had a hard time finding it one time and she had to get someone else to come in and help her. So the nurse got the Nurse Practitioner and they came in with the ultrasound machine. Here goes the gel, and they don't have the warm kind so it was very cold! She put the probe on my belly and a heartbeat later I knew something was wrong. The distance between joy and sorrow can be measured by a heartbeat. No one was saying anything, until I very calmly asked the Nurse Practitioner "You can't find the heart beat can you?" Her response was "No, but she is in a very odd position." She called the doctor in and she looked and agreed with the original finding. Now I'm getting very upset because these people have no clue who I am or what we have been through. We have seen and had more testing than they could ever imagine. I wanted out of this hospital and I wanted to get to my doctors at my hospital. We were in and out of that hospital in 45 minutes. We got back to the hotel, threw everything in our bags and hit the road at lightning speed. Dr. Sullivant had already called us because Barnes-Jewish had called and talked to the doctor on call at Ruch Clinic. He said they were expecting us at Baptist Women's as soon as we could get there and they would do their own testing to find out what was going on. No one said much on the way home. I had very mixed emotions about everything. We made one stop at my request and that was to eat dinner at Lambert's in Sikeston, MO. Forrest did not want to stop at all, but I insisted. I wasn't sure what was going on and if it was something bad I wanted to enjoy one last meal with my entire family. The boys enjoyed catching the hot rolls, and looking at all the different tags on the wall. I enjoyed every single moment with all 3 of my babies and my husband.
Mommy, Joncarlo, Hunter, and Mary Martin in front of Lambert's!


We made it back around 9:30pm, met my dad at our house, dropped off the boys with him, grabbed a few things, and headed to Baptist Women's in Memphis. I was ready to find out what was going on. They knew exactly who we were when we got there and took us strait back. Once they got us to a room Dr. Sullivant came in and explained to us that he had talked to the doctor at Barnes-Jewish, but that he wanted to do his own ultrasound just to make sure. We anxiously waited 30 minutes for the ultrasound tech to come in. When she came in she got the machine ready and asked us if we wanted to see the screen. No one was sure what was going to be on that screen but we knew we wanted to see it. She put the probe on and began to move it around. She labeled the placenta, and then the baby. There was my sweet and perfect little angel............with no heartbeat at all. All the pieces fit together right then at that moment. The hospital that Forrest stumbled upon for no reason at all, and the "God always has a plan B" book that I was drawn to buy and give to Forrest. I realized that in that moment that nothing Forrest or I could have given each other could have come close to the gift that God had just gave us. We had received an Angel on our first anniversary. This is not what we had planned at all, but God was missing an angel and decided to call our sweet Mary Martin home. If Jesus sacrificed his life for me, how could I not be joyful in letting him take my sweet Mary Martin to be with him in heaven dancing with the angels. My heart was very broken, but I knew she was in a much better place and there she would stay until her Daddy and Mommy could join her.