"Adopted is something you were, not something you are."Yeah, I used to fall for that line, too, that adoption is a single event that happened in the past and need never impinge on the present. Here's what I wrote before on this issue:
That is how parents whose children became theirs describe things. Adoption is an action, they say. And once it is over you are a "child," not an "adopted child." At least most of the time.
I remember reading something when Zoe was little that I thought was very clever -- say that your child WAS adopted, not IS adopted, because adopting is just a single event in the past, not part of who your child is now. I thought it very clever because it fit so neatly the "same as" narrative I was sure was right -- adoption is the "same as" having a child by birth, just another way to become a family. What a clever way to render adoption irrelevant to our daily lives, to my child's identity!For an adoptee's view of adoption as past, present or future tense, check out this video blog by adoptee Astrid of Adoption Mosaic:
What I believe now is that adoption is a life-long issue, and cannot be relegated to a single event in the past.