Happy Birthday to Mommy!!

The "firsts" are always the hardest, and the birthday that was to be celebrated first without Mary Martin just so happen to be mine. I have been dreading this day since we came home from the hospital. I remember telling my husband I wish that we could just skip over this week, I didn't want to acknowledge my birthday at all this year. In the end I am so very glad that I didn't skip over my birthday. I woke up to our oldest running in our room with my husband carrying a birthday present. He was very excited! I opened and read the sweet card the boys gave me and the tears started rolling. Hunter does't get to be with us for my birthday. We will get him every single year on Forrest's birthday and he will spend the day with his mom every single year on her birthday but there really isn't a special day for the step parent. I understand but it hurts. However when I read the card that was from my boys I knew that my sweet Hunter had picked out that card. He is our little thinker and reader. I know from taking him to pick out cards that he wants to make sure he gets the perfect card. Joncarlo looks for the cool cards with stickers, music, and pop up stuff. Nothing wrong with either way, they are different little boys, but I know my boys! After I read the card I opened my present. They had picked out a new Willow Tree for my collection. It was called "Surrounded by love"

It was the perfect birthday present from all 3 of my babies! I am always surrounded by love from them. I got up and got Joncarlo ready for school. Today I was going to take him to school and he could not be more excited. Forrest usually takes him everyday because his school is right next to Forrest's work, but since mommy was off today I thought I would take him. I was sad when he got out of the truck and didn't turn around to wave. He's growing up.......3rd grade means he is getting closer and closer to thinking I'm not cool anymore. I enjoy every single moment of love from my boys! After I dropped him off I ran home grabbed a blanket, went to Kroger picked up some flowers and a tiny balloon, and headed to Hernando to spend some time with Mary Martin. I got down there, spread my blanket out and began to read her a special book "Forever Young." I cried all the way through it. When I finished I counted out 33 tiny roses from the bunch that I had bought and spread them out on her grave. I took the others and gave them to "Matthew" the little boy that she is right next to. I don't know Matthew, but I am sure him and Mary Martin are big buddies in heaven! When all of the flowers and her tiny balloon were placed exactly like I wanted I read "Brown Bear Brown Bear" to her. That is one of my all time favorites, and I was able to read it just like I wanted to with excitement. I played her a special song that I sang along with, talked to her a minute and then said my goodbyes. 

33 roses because mommy is 33 years old today!

Her buddy Matthew!

My husband kind of surprised me and came home early from work. He told me that he was going to cook supper for me tonight.........anything that I wanted he would cook. My pick you ask?? Forrest Dunlop'S SPAGHETTI!!!!! My husband makes the best spaghetti in the whole wide world! He made sure that is what I wanted, since that is kind of any easy simple dinner. I was 100% positive that is what I wanted for my birthday dinner. I didn't want to go out to eat, today has been an emotional day and I just wanted to stay in. We may or may not go out to eat this weekend, either way as long as I am spending time with my family I don't care what we do! We had to run to the grocery store to grab a few things. I didn't really pay attention to what all we got. When we got home Forrest handed me a watermelon. As I took it he said "that's from Mary Martin." The most simplest of gifts but in my eyes it was like I had just hit the lottery. He said I know she would want you to have one on your birthday. My eyes filled up with tears as I thought about my sweet watermelon eating little girl in heaven. I miss her so very much, but I know there are no tears in heaven only smiles. She is singing "Happy Birthday" to me with the sweetest most angelic voice ever in heaven. I am one lucky mother to be blessed with such a wonderful family. My husband and all 3 of my children made my birthday the best birthday ever! Please continue praying as the healing continues. God is good!