When you know something just isn't right.........


Anyone that knows me knows that I am one tough cookie. I have had 2 children now 100% natural, I do not take pain medicine (I don't want to mask the pain I want to get rid of it forever!), and I turn down the laughing gas at the dentist. My sister on the other hand wants the laughing gas to get her teeth cleaned! HA! Sorry Tiki!! Some of us are just made to with stand pain and others are not. Nothing wrong with either one, however when I do say I am in pain and that something is wrong with me that means SOMETHING IS WRONG!!!!! I have had this really irritating low back pain on and off for about 2 years now. The first time it happened I was told I pulled a muscle. Why would I question the doctor, if he said I pulled a muscle then that is what it must be. A Toradol shot, some anti-inflammitory medicine, and some muscle relaxers and off I go. I would wake up the next day feeling like a new person. It would happen about 2 times a year, not that bad. Why would I spend money to have a MRI or CT done when all it was is just a pulled muscle. Keep in mind the only reason we went to the ER in St. Louis is because I was high risk, pregnant, couldn't take Toradol to my knowledge, and my back was hurting. Well 3 weeks after our sweet Mary Martin was born on a Saturday I woke up with back pain! I have done nothing to pull a muscle, and now that i think about it I did nothing while we were on vacation to pull a muscle. Something was wrong with me. I took medicine that I had at home until Monday when I could go see my PCP. I will not take myself to the ER unless I am dying! I was able to get an appointment for first thing that Monday. When the provider came in I explained the pain, where it was, and how I had not done anything, but they assured me that it was a pulled muscle. I insisted that they scchedule me for a MRI this time. I wanted to get to the bottom of whatever was going on with me. I knew my body better than anyone else and I knew something was wrong!!! They did not want to schedule me, felt like it was a waste of time and money. Well my out of pocket has been met for the year, meaning I am covered at 100% for the rest of the year, so whatever needs to be done let's do it! They agreed to schedule the appointment for me, but said that I needed a Toradol shot and some new medicine. <Sigh> Ok I will agree if you agree is what I was thinking. Shot, prescriptions, and out the door I go. Now I have to wait on them to call me with an appointment. I'm sure they will schedule it asap since I was in a lot of pain right? WRONG! When I woke up Tuesday I was a million times worse to the point I could barely walk. How in the world could I be worse than I was the day before?! Now I am thinking I might have a kidney stone. I take it upon myself (we have a PPO insurance plan so I can do this!) to call Conrad Pearson and get an appointment for that afternoon with their nurse practioner. It took me 10 minutes to just get in my truck to drive over to their office in Southaven. I could not sit, it hurt to stand, and when they wanted to do a X-ray and a CT I just about cried when I tried to get up. I just knew it was going to be a kidney stone. I have never had one before but the symptoms were the same as when my sister had one. Well guess what.....it was NOT a kidney stone! I'm not crazy and I am not making up this pain! The nurse practioner showed me everything on the CT even though I believed her, and she said that I should try going to Semmes Murphey. By this point I had decided that I was going to go to every single specialtist out there until I found out what was wrong with me. My husband kept telling me it was probobaly just a pulled muscle and that I just needed to get up and walk around and it would work itself out. Tuesday I physically could not move. It was in the worst pain I had ever in my life felt. Before I left the parking lot of Conrad Pearson I called Semmes Murphey and got an appointment for Thursday afternoon with their nurse practitioner. I don't mind seeing a nurse practioner if they can see me sooner than the doctor as long as they take me seriously and don't blow me off. So Thursday gets here and I am ready to hopefully find out what is wrong with me. I get there early to do all of the paperwork, and I thought it was really neat that they gave me one of those light up buzzer things that you get when you are waiting for a table at a restaurant. When it started buzzing I walked up to the desk and the nurse was waiting on me. I guess that has something to do with patient confidentiality HIPPA stuff, or maybe they are just that high tech! I get in a room and it wasn't 5 minutes before the nurse practioner came in. Her name was "Mary" (How perfect!) and she was the most caring person I have ever met. I told her my history of back pain, and exactly what has been going on. She knew exactly what was wrong with me but wanted to get X-rays to be for sure. When the X-rays came back she came in the room and said "You have sacroiliitis." I had no clue what that was, but I knew I was extremely greatful that she took me serious enough to find out. Basicially what it is is an inflammation of either one or both of the joints that connect your lower spine to your pelvis. It can cause extreme pain and a severely restriced range of motion. How do they treat it? Well I get to go get an injection in my back! I know your jealous right! HA! Now the next question was "how in the world did this happen?" She said that after every woman gives birth her pelvis is spread more than before she got pregnant. Some people get lucky and have no problems but then others like me get this sacroiliitis. As we got to talking she told me that this happen to her after her pregnancy. And something else we had in common.......her baby is in heaven with our Mary Martin. She lost her precious angel June of 2011. With tears in my eyes I looked at her and asked "Does it ever get better?" She said "No but it does get easier." She reached over and gave me a hug........she really cared, and that was the best feeling in the world. "Mary" took care of me today and helped me figure out what was wrong with me. It's amazing how God sends the right people at the right time to help you when you need it. She helped me more than she probably knew, because she wasn't just a provider she was a mother still in mourning. Some may never know the pain of losing a child, but those who have angels in heaven know a pain that is like no other. It hurts every single day, but them when I have days like today I know that she is watching over me. She will always be my little girl, my princess, and most definitely daddy's little girl! I will miss her every single day and I look forward to the day to where I can hold her again, but until then I will stay strong in my faith and let God carry me in hopes I can help others! Please keep those prayers coming. I go back to work on Monday for the first time since Mary Martin was born. It is going to be hard, and I will probably cry, but I work with an amazing group of people that will always help lift my spirits or just listen to me if I need to talk. I don't question what God has planned for me I just wait patiently as a humble servant until he shows me. When he asked for our sweet Mary Martin I could not deny him. I could only thank him for having the honor and blessing of carrying her for 22 wonderful weeks and then giving back what was never truly mine to begin with. We are all God's children. I can't wait for the day when I get to hold this beautiful little hand again! Thank you God for loving me and using me! God is good!